


My Everything

by Anonymous6285



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Angst, Awkward Conversations, Break Up, Character Death, Cheating, Crying, Fights, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24865279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous6285/pseuds/Anonymous6285
Summary: Paul comes back home from a movie with a girl, and he and John get into a fight.
Relationships: John Lennon/Paul McCartney, Linda McCartney/Paul McCartney
Comments: 15
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

“You can just drop me off at the corner,” Paul said quietly to the girl in the driver’s seat, and he was glad that she didn’t seem to have anything against leaving him there. 

“Alright. I had fun tonight, Paul. Maybe we could go see another movie soon, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course!” he replied, too fast. “Just… I’m married, so…”

“No, no, me too. Not a date. Just a fun little outing.” She smiled weakly, and Paul just nodded, stepping out of the car. 

“Alright. Well, I’ll see you later, then.”

“See you, too.” And with that, the girl in the car drove off, and Paul started to walk home. 

When he allés up to the porch and in the door, John was waiting with crossed arms. “I thought you were gonna be back by nine.”

Paul could hear and feel the edge in his voice, and it freaked him out quite a bit. He wasn’t seriously gonna be jealous over this, was he?

“Yeah, the movie started late.” He stripped off his coat and hung it up, but John wasn’t done nagging him. 

“How’d you get home? I dropped you off. Why didn’t you call me?”

“Just… a friend.” John didn’t take his eyes off of him. “Is there something bothering you? Because I really don’t like the way you’re talking to me…”

“No, no, nothing. Just… was it a guy?”

“What?” Paul asked amusedly. 

“Your friend?” Paul shook his head. “A girl?”

“Yes. What’s your problem?”

“Did you sleep with her?” Paul’s eyes widened at his boyfriend’s language. 

“What the hell are you on about?”

“Did you?”

“No, of course not!” Paul huffed and pushed past John to get upstairs to his own room. But John only followed him. “Leave me alone! I don’t want to talk to you. It was a fucking movie! She’s just a friend!”

“So you’ve never slept with her?”

“No,” Paul mumbled.

“When did you start lying to me?” The bassist spun around with the angriest look on his face. 

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other—“

“We don’t!” 

“Yet here you are—“

“You think I slept with her? Would it make you happy if I just said that I did? Fine, I slept with her!” He rolled his eyes and started to undress into pyjamas. 

“You whore!!” John shouted as if it was a real confession. “It was more than once, wasn’t it?”

Now, tears were running down the younger man’s face. “John, I really don’t see what the big deal is here—“

“Paul McCartney, did you sleep with her?” Paul opened his mouth to speak but said nothing. “You really did?”

“It was a mistake—“

“Twice?! Twice was a mistake?!”

“Shut the fuck up!” he shouted, hiding his face in his hands. “Just shut up.”

“Do you even still love me?”

Paul nearly choked as he slipped on a pair of pyjama pants. “Of course I love you.”

“More than her?”

“Wh— Yes, always.”

“Then why the hell are you still lying?!” John sobbed. “You told me that you loved me, that what we had was special. And then you go and sleep with some other girl?” 

“John, I stopped because I realised that I didn’t love her. I love you.”

“Why the hell did you start?” Paul remained quiet. “Macca, why?”

“I was curious.”

“... curious?” John whispered. 

“With a girl, I mean. I had never actually… I just wanted to know, I’m so sorry.”

“Paul, you’re not with a girl. You’re with me.”

“You think I don’t fucking know that?! I was just curious! I’m sorry!”

“You’re a whore. You’re a dirty, no good whore. Bet you just picked her up at a bar—“

“I didn’t! She’s my friend, John! I slept with her a long time ago! Now, she’s married, so it doesn’t even matter!”

“But when you were married, that didn’t bother you?! That you were cheating on me!”

“We weren’t married! We never were! You need to get it through your thick skull that we will never be married! It’s not legal! It’s not right!”

John sniffled. “Is that why you were dropped off at the corner, then? Because god forbid your friends know you’re not straight.”

“John, you’re being ridiculous!”

“Then why? Does she even know we’re together?” Paul shook his head slowly. “Why?!”

“Look, it’s not that I’m embarrassed by you. It’s just… some people don’t understand. And it’s hard to explain.”

“So I’m just… I’m just something you’ve got to explain? Is that all we are to you?! Just some gay couple? Well, I fucking love you, Paul McCartney!”

“I love you, too, John. You know I do!”

“Well, I can see that it’s not enough. Your love for me wasn’t enough to stop you from having sex with somebody else.” He wiped at his eyes. “That's not the kind of person I want to be in a relationship with.”

“John, what are you—“

“Get out. Out of my house, you whore!” Paul’s heart started to speed up. “Pack your things and go!”

“I don’t think you know what you’re doing, John.”

“I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m breaking up with you. I don’t want you anymore.” Paul sobbed and started to cry. 

“No, Johnny, please. Give me a second chance.”

“No. You’ve blown all of your chances—“

“It was two years ago, John.”

“You never fucking told me! And you’re still hiding me from your friends—“

“John, it’s illegal. I’ve got to—“

“Why can’t you just be fucking proud of who you are, McCartney? Why does everything have to revolve around some stupid rule that probably some straight, white dude came up with? All I wanted was to be happy with you. But it seems I’m just an inconvenience.” He took a deep breath before he said what came next. “Goodbye, Paul. I want you gone by morning.”

He left Paul’s room with another sob and slammed the door to his own, leaving the younger man dumbfounded. He had just lost his everything.


	2. Chapter 2

Paul sat on the couch, waiting for Linda to bring him the tea she was so insistent that he stayed for. He’d wanted to just rush home, but she seemed to understand that there was really nothing there for him.

And she was right. He did enjoy being here, maybe someday soon he’d move in. Then he could always be with Linda and Heather. A little girl ran up and sat on the couch next to him just as his girlfriend appeared with two cups.

“Mummy, can I have some?” She had the biggest smile on her face.

“I’m sorry, Heather. I’ve only made two cups.” Paul looked back at the girl, who just shrugged and curled up into his leg. “Love, why don’t you go play something and give Paul and I some space, yeah?”

She sighed, but got up anyway. “Alright.” Then she stalked out of the room, making Paul feel a bit bad about being the reason she had to leave the room.

“You didn’t have to do that. I don’t mind her.”

“It’s fine. She’s been working on some new clothes for her dolls, so she’s got something to do.”

Paul nodded to himself, sipping the tea. “This is good.”

“Yeah. Made it with some flowers from the garden.” She paused before she continued talking. “Her father showed me how.” Linda glanced out into space, remembering something nice.

“Oh. Erm, I’m sorry. I didn’t know…”

“Oh, no, it’s quite alright. He’s not dead or anything. It just didn’t work out between us.”

“Ah. Yeah, I was the same way.” This caught Linda’s attention. They’d been dating for a while, and she’d never heard about a previous wife. And then Paul realised what he’d said.

“Oh! Were you married, then?” Paul nodded curtly. “Oh, I had no idea… is she still around?”

Paul swallowed thickly at that. Of course Linda had assumed it was a girl. Who wouldn’t? “I don’t really talk to her anymore. But I really loved her. And she really loved me. I had been… I was sleeping around with somebody else, and I dunno. She was just convinced I didn’t love her anymore. We had a fight, and I just left the next morning.”

Linda’s eyes were wide. “Oh, gosh. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’ve really only seen her once since then anyway. She got remarried. Has a kid now. She’s been doing alright, so I don’t think much of it, anyway.”

“Well, she seems nice.”

Paul nodded. “It was fun while it lasted. Anyway, thanks so much for the tea. I should really get going.” He didn’t know why, but talking about John in such a way made him very uncomfortable. He hadn’t told anybody about what really happened between them.

“Oh. Er, if you’re sure. Of course. See you tomorrow, maybe, then.” Linda smiled at him, and the two kissed before Paul slipped out the door and started on his way back home.

It had already gotten dark, and he wished he’d just taken his car, but it would have been a waste since he lived so close. But when rain drops started to fall from the sky, he realised it definitely wouldn’t have been a waste, and he hurried into the only shop that was open to wait it out.

Just as luck would have it, he was now stuck in a coffee shop with no money.

“Hello, sir. What can I get for you?” He opened his mouth to say something, but a familiar voice interrupted him.

“He’s with me, thanks.” Paul turned his head to see John, smirk on his face, standing at the other end of the room. 

“John…”

“Hey, Paul. H-how are you?” Paul approached him nervously. Since when did he live in London?

“I’m fine. I th-thought you were still in Liverpool…”

“Got boring without you.” The older man shrugged.

“But Cynthia--” When John bit his lip, tears starting to sting his eyes, Paul stopped talking. “Oh, John… I’m sorry. You really liked her, didn’t you?”

“I did… she just… she wasn’t you.” Paul swallowed, and John realised how uncomfortable he looked. “Oh, I didn’t mean to-- sorry.”

“How’s Julian?” Then, Paul saw John’s expression change. The once happy eyes he used to get at the mention of the boy were sad.

“With Cynthia. Said he didn’t want me to be his dad. He’ll go back and forth, though.” Paul didn’t say anything in response. He seemed to just be making things worse. “I… I miss you, Macca.”

“John, don’t do this.” He knew the man was just going to try to guilt him into something he didn’t want.

“Do you still love me?” Now, John was crying softly, and Paul just shook his head. “Please, tell me. I have to know.” He stepped closer to Paul, resting his hand on the younger man’s cheek as he waited for the answer.

“I do,” the bassist whispered softly to him, and John pressed his lips against his. Paul gave in and leaned into the kiss, but not two seconds later, pushed him away again. This wasn’t right. He loved Linda. “... But I don’t want to. I’m sorry..”

“Paul--” But his hopes were crushed not a split second later.

“I’m seeing someone.” John’s heart shattered, but his face remained unchanged. “And… I love her more… more than you. I-I’m sorry about Cyn, but--”

“No,” he whispered, kissing Paul again. “Please, just give me a second chance.”

“John, I just need somebody else. I can’t… I can’t be with you anymore. I love Linda.” He took a deep breath and took a step away from the other man.

“Well, Linda… she’s a very lucky lady.” With a curt nod, John pushed his way past Paul and left the coffee shop in tears and sobbing. Paul watched him walk out into the rain, and then he started on his own way home, not caring how wet the rain made him.


	3. Chapter 3

When Paul sat up in his bed, Linda was already up, probably getting ready. But when he made his way up and into the hall, he saw her bent over the heating vent on the floor, fingers running through her hair. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What are you doing?” he asked amusedly, and she whipped her head around to see him.

“Oh, morning, Paul. Heather’s using the hair dryer, and I was late. I mean, I can’t walk out in this cold with wet hair. I’ll freeze.” It was already December, and though it wasn’t the coldest the winter was going to get, it was still very cold out.

“Ah.” He nodded and went off to the kitchen, making himself breakfast when the phone rang. With a sigh, he started towards it, but Linda beat him to it. She knew he hated answering the phone.

“Hello?” she said, and he could hear her in the hall. “Oh, yeah, he’s right here.” She covered the speaker and yelled into the kitchen, “Paul, it’s for you.”

The man went over to the phone hanging near the fridge. “Who is it?” he asked his wife.

“Erm… Yoko?” Yoko. Paul had never actually met her, but he knew it was John’s wife, so he picked up the phone.

“Hello,” she said. “I’m not sure if you know who I am--”

“John’s wife, yeah?” He heard a sob through the speaker. “Is everything okay? Where’s John?”

“He… I’m sorry, but… he’s been shot.” Paul was sure his heart had stopped at that moment.

“I-is he okay? When can I see him?” There was a long silence, and the bassist was only getting more frustrated. “Is he okay?!”

“He’s…”

She didn’t even have to say it. “No. No, that’s not true.” He put the phone down and sobbed, hiding his face in his hands. He knew he should’ve gone to say goodbye when John was leaving the country. Now he would never even see him again. The man he’d had so much fun with, the smile, the sarcastic remarks, even the fights. It was just gone. Just because of a piece of fucking metal…

Before he even knew it, Linda was up next to him, and his knees were giving out. She’d listened to the entire conversation, hadn’t she? God, this was humiliating.

“Hey, love, take it easy, okay?” But he couldn’t stop himself from falling all the way to the floor. She went down with him. “Paul, are you okay?” He shook his head, which she had expected. Of course he wouldn’t be okay. “Alright, just sit here, yeah?”

He pulled closer to her and sobbed again into her shirt, feeling her hand rubbing up and down his back. There was no way this was real. That’s what he kept telling himself, and it seemed to help him calm down.

“Paul, erm, who’s John?”

He knew he couldn’t keep this secret any longer. How bad could it be to just tell her? They’d been married over a decade, already had three kids together. And they loved each other, for God’s sake. 

But there was still something inside of him that kept bringing up the possibility that this would end them.

“Paul?” she asked again, but not in a prying way.

“He was my husband,” the man blurted out, crying even harder. He hadn’t ever said that out loud.

“Your… husband?” A nod, and she realised John was the person Paul had been married to before. “Oh, god. Oh, Paul, I’m so sorry.” She held on tighter to him, only reminding the bassist what he’d just heard.

“I still love him, Linda. Why did this have to happen? That’s not fucking fair! He didn’t even do anything wrong…” He was taken aback when he heard another voice.

“Naughty word!” came the shout of a little boy waddling into the room, and Paul couldn’t help but smile as James came up to him and Linda. He saw his father’s tears at once. “Is Daddy hurt?”

“Yes,” Linda replied before Paul could, picking up the three year old and setting him in Paul’s lap.

“Daddy’s hurt,” he mumbled, wrapping his tiny arms around Paul’s stomach. “Sorry, daddy.”

That alone was enough to make Paul cry even harder. God, he loved his kids. “It’s alright. I love you, James.”

“I love you, too.” A smile crept up on Paul’s face, though tears still streamed down his face. Then, he knew that things were going to be okay, no matter how bad they got.


End file.
